"Life sucks"

........

Indeed.. when im in this line with little or nil appreciation. I dont feel happy. Everyday i dragged with my heavy feet and heart to nurse the sick. Im indeed very tired. Sometimes against the will of oneself. The people setting assignment are all so selfish.

Just like today, i've 2 seniors, who have been in this line for at least 7-10years... just throw this patient for me to nurse. Highly acuity nursing, and also to bear with this patient's temper. I dont like it at all, nobody likes it, neither do they. And yet, they refused to take his case..

Well i just wanna shout out: "I'm very JUNIOR!"

Im was very upset when i came for duty today... i saw the selfish-ness.

When i asked around, what will be my assignment and none want to answer me and quietly listening to the passing over of the report, i was damn "du lan"............

I refused to take 2 cases together.

I know i will and not cope.

I felt the selfishness.......


I dont know why when im in a stress mode... the brim of my eyes will be welled up.

我试着不让它流下。

Whatever.........

For that instance, i wished im pregnant/down with cough, running nose/incompetent/no knowledge... whatever reason to not to nurse them............

argh..........

.............to the brim.....

moody and unhappy for the whole evening....................

........and someone have to irritate out of me and tell me that she told sister to change my shift because she cant as she have got class.

i got even fiery... What if ive appointment? What if i have some important things on? Well, i just tell that person direct that i have an appointment and she went back to sister and my assignment for the day remain unchanged.

I didn't want to work PM. Because i knew i will be nursing them if im on PM shift.

sucks. I hate to be throw here and there like a puppet. I hate my role to the max.

I just wanna get out of clinical area....................................



Threw my discontentment to shijie just before i knock off.

thanks for her listening ear, listening to my grumblings..... heart** her




Well, its the environment that is forcing me to leave... its getting stronger each day............................



gotta turn in..

today is my 8th day on shift... tmr the 9th...... i will and want to endure............


PS: papavirgo came to fetch me and bought me breakfast for tmr. Listen attentively to my unhappiness and curse and swear those people with me... heart him so much... he's always there for me rain or shine.

alrighty, enough of my grumblings, time to turn in.. it will be a long day ahead.

wen be gone