Completed my 2-in-a-roll yesterday morning. Felt ultra shiok to have 2 days off for the week. Went to have breakfast with my sillydumdumb and headed to my sack straight after i came out from the shower room. Snoozed til 5pm. Ready to enjoy my sleep day... but silly things happen......

Lazed around and had dinner at JP. First time ever i felt so sad while eating, the tears just dropped as i eat along, i saw the waiter at my peripheral vision, he intended to serve me my curry sauce, but i saw him backwards and left w/o uttering anything when the tiny drop of tears rolled down upon my cheek. YES I'M that SAD ! It's the wrong word that came out from my mouth earlier of the evening that spoiled the rest of the evening away. I dont mean it that way, yet this sillydumbdumb put it to heart and said even meanier things to hurt my vulnerable heart.

We walked separate ways, many at times, i just feel like walking off and just disappear from his sight. I did for some instance, but finding myself making a U-Turn to look for him. How silly*... I eventually give in to his hardiness!

Went back to him, my heart seems to have the traces of crack!

He hold my hand in the end. Apologised to me that he was indeed harsh and hard towards me the last 2 hours. He said his heart broke when he saw the tears dropped onto the table beads by beads while im eating.. at that instance, he knew he was wrong. I apologised as well, i knew i was in a lil' wrong, i shouldn't have said all those words in the beginning.

Then, we became happy person again, hand in hand we walked around. Headed home for some TV session. Loved* Layed myself in front of him with the pillow behind my back, he gave me massage for his wrong-doings. =) I felt so love and decided to just let it go.. I still love him as always. Watched discovery channel, and turn in at 11pm. We're leading such a mundane life, but i really do appreciate such moments.

Well he's such a sillydumbdumb, who is strong and firm at his words, he didn't know that his words can instantly turn into a knife that kills my fragile heart away!

Bleah (>.<)

PS: We had KOI bubble tea 2 days ago, and i'm lovin' it to bits. The semi-sweetness just rocks!! The abundant pearl lingers in my mouth accompanied through with the milk tea. Im definitely going back again for more. LOVE **

Side track: BC's Rach launching at 12pm today! Am anticipating as im so lack of pretty tops!! Boohooo.. hopefully it's nice...

Now: This current moment, i receive a text which makes me in a dilemma again. Im of a person which drift away very easy, she asked me if im interested for an *** this year. Should i just turn down? And proceed with my plans? Arggh* Can i choose not to reply her SMS. I forwarded the msg to my shi jie !

And she replied with : she mass send is it? She sent me also....

Now she made my mind go super whirl... like im sitting on a carousel, going round and round endlessly.

I seriously hate to make plans and decisions like that..

But i mean, since ive decided, i should go ahead with the answer. However, im a person who gets sway away easily, like very easily... I dare not sit in with her and discuss issues like that.

Another part of me, sub-consiously, wishes to get something from this instituition before i leave, because this specialisation is something not everyone able to achieve that easy. However, thinking and counting the years i need to stay in this "ghost place" leaves me in a super big dilemma.

I remember that i didn't filled up the last part of my appraisal. I left it blank when asked upon how the instituition can help you achieve your upgrading/learning process. I did leave it BLANK !

Leave or stay or continue with my plans....

我又再一次被动摇了。

Wen