The terrror thought that I'm on morning shift makes me go out of breath. Lying beside My'love, hugging him so tightly that I do not want to let go. I refused to wake up when my alarm hit 5am just now.

The thought of it makes me wanna cry. Yes, I'm escaping! I don't wanna leave my comfort zone and feels so bad and terrible within. Yet, I get up went for a shower hoping that I will feel fresher and the water that hit on me will give me some courage to step forward.

I dragged my feet out of the house and i'm making my way to work now. I don't want to face any of it I told myself.                                              

我还在逃避， 压力真的好大。
我知道我自己真的不行。
my'love 曾经告诉过我，
不要一直说自己不行，
应该更积极的面对，
去想怎样克服自己的不行。
我一直这样的告诉自己。

I'm going crazy any sooner. I felt that I somehow need anti-depressant to calm me down. I'm feeling stressed and tight up within lately. No doubt, baby has been with me all these while, bring in laughter and cheer me up. Always be there to cheer me up when he knows I'm unhappy. But whenever he is not with me anymore, I start to think alot, my mind just wander off. I really have got enough.                                    

If today, they still put my assignment to nurse the post BMT child, I will make a din out of it. I admit, I seriously can't take this stress. If i'm gonna endure, I will suppress and suppress and it will turn into regression. I don't want myself to be in this state.              


Wen be gone.