Back to workforce today. Greeted by Ms Gin warm greetings. Welcome Back! So reluctantly, put on my mask for the day, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

Looked at my environment, i hate it. Wanted to leave as far as i could from this place. I told myself, LOOK, u've come this far what's another 365 days to you man!

Signed in, looked at my assignment for the day, looked at my desgination for a split second. Is this what i am going to do for the rest of my life? I asked myself repeatedly, i have an answer rebounced back to me. "Wen, you can choose the life u want to lead. "

But can I ? I know, if i do, i need to pay a price for that!

Put it simply; From my point of view, i really hate to be a staff nurse that does junior work. I pondered again and again, what's my jobscope once again?

I saw a scene, upgrading transfer case to another ward. Just a simple transfer case. TWO SN. May i repeat, TWO SN send patient up. I roughly heard one SN said, to ask the EN together with one SN. Well, i dont know what's the EN busy with, and she was doing the calling la, whatever, etc. TWO SN transfered them over, and left the EN behind. -.- What a scene. What a poor delegation, i thought to myself.

Well, i am not discriminating or whatsoever. I perceived this scene, and it just happen to associate and link my thoughts up!

I thought to myself once again. If i'm given an opportunity to rotate my job location. I would gladly accept it. C'mon, i need challenge in my life to drive me to excel.

Anyway, work is a lil' hectic. But managable. Another half of the day had passed. Time for break. A good 45 minutes spent in the tea-room.

Waiting for time to pass, Noven's mom is in the ward. Heard abt Noven's critical condition in ICU. Intubated. On sedation. etc. My heart just ache for this lil' boy! And i thought about my another patient, life is hard for them as well. They have so lil in life, and why are we expecting so much from one another.

I thought; we are too fortunate !

.........

30 minutes before 9. Tad too many call bells to attend.

9pm sharp, senior of the night walked in and set the assignment.

5 minutes past 9, a call bell was initiated. Not my side thou, I attended to it promptly*

Patient Poo-ed. Need to clean up. I lead them to the baby bath room. On my way, the junior or rather EN of the shift was surfing FaceBook, doing whatever stupid quizzes! I looked at it and was pissed. Of course, unhappy.

Why is the EN climbing onto the head of SN i wondered. Oh, have you seen EN delegating a SN ?

You dont see it in another hospital dont you?

有时候，我真的是对事不是人。

I cleaned the baby up. Washed myself up. Went out of the ward, those people that were passing report and the one that surfed FB weren't there anymore. It was 9.30pm then.

Left the ward. All the way to my locker, took my bag. Rushed out to the lift and pressed B1. Silly dumbdumb is waiting for me*

Not angry. But I asked myself: 'Why am i a nurse in the first place'?

Same old answer rebounced back to me!

Saw my bumble bee from afar. He's always the one that be there for me when my day seems frail. He's always be there for me when my life looks bleak.

I love this man.

My pillar of strength that keeps me going.

I know i have to keep going and going.

This Is Life.

The reality is harsh.

Wen♥