Wen feels utterly lousy and demoralized..

An incident that just happened:



On 28/11/08 1100hrs, patient was due for IT MTX. I SN Janice Wong assisting SN. and Dr.. The dressing trolly was prepared by the SN.I noticed a chemotherapy injection on the nearby table. I proceed to open up the packaging and put it on the side of the dressing table.

During the process HO passed the injection to MO to administrate. SN noticed that the colour of the drug which should be yellow in colour (MTX) was actually colourless and informed the MO who has administering. MO stop immediately. But by then 3 mls out of 4mls in the syringe had already been administered.

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Cytarabine was given intrathecally to the patient, when we should not do it in the first place.
This is the incident that just happened. I felt utterly lousy and demoralized within. The chain and series of mistake made by human.

1) Two chemotherapy was bought into the treatment room (Which was not supposed to. Only one drug is allowed to be brought in)

2) I, am responsible for not checking the another chemo before throwing it to the side of trolley.

3) The person who passed it to the MO did not check again and assumed it was IT MTX

4) Upon administering the drug, MO didn't check the 2nd time and assumed it was IT MTX.

Fatal death will happen if its Vincristine given IT.

Sister from 76 wants me to treat it as a learning process. She didn't want me to be affected.

I went to 75 and see sister chia after everything ended. The moment i saw her, even before i utter anything, my tears just streamed down.

She given me the psychosocial support when i needed the most at the point of time. And i teared even harder. She advised me to look forward and treat it as a learning process. Indeed i feel much better after what she said.

Then she asked if i am coping well.. and asked if i am more confortable over there or in 75. Definitely in 75 i answered.

She called ADN immediately... but uncontactable.. She will give me a ring later..................

I really felt stressful over there. Their way of doing is so much of a difference! I'm so affected that my tears just streamed continuously on my way home. Its the impact that affected me and the doctors. The MO almost lose her license if its Vincristine given Intrathecally. MO cried too. This impact is too huge for her too.

I reflected and sincerely apologised on my shortcoming.
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This incident has greatly affected me. Affected how people will look at me. I definitely dont feel good at all.. not at all..

I looked at my designation, and really feel disappointed with myself. Why did i made such a big mistake. Of course fingers, pointed at me, why is it dropped at the trolley when it's not supposed to.

I need a break. I feel utterly lousy within.