Working now become a big part of my life for now.. it gets too monotonous sometimes that i felt so lost & bored.. i dunno what i am doing, i dunno where i am heading..i dunno what i should do.. I'll get so angry and frustrated that if i've a gun i'll shoot all that hinders me down.. Time passes by so fast and i can't do anything abt it.. no one can..


I have been thinking alot recently. Been working for 1 year plus and i stopped to pondered where am i driving at. I cant seem to find the drive to work. For a period of time, i will be doing paeds med. The next while, i will be doing onco jr.. and being an onco jr, doesn't allow me to just take parameters only, there are tonnes of things that i need to learn.

Between here and there, makes me feel so inbetween. Competency checklist needs to compelete in 3 months time, and now its the starting of 2nd month, how many have i done?


I hate doing intermittent care between patients to patients.

When everybody started asking me have i completed, i always replied with a smile, how to juggle?

Colleagues who went over for cross-training, dropped tears infront of me for the 2nd time whenever we had some small chats. She always appear to be a very strong person to me and yet a couple of times, the tears just rolled down when she talk about her unhappiness there.

That makes me pondered; I dont know if i am up to par and if i am ready to go over that side yet.

Seriously speaking, i am still neither here nor there.

I have no intention of going over.




going to work seems to be a drag these days..