Im feeling much better. My mood has been lifted by many loved ones. Especially my honey baby. U're the sweetest.

Firstly gonna say a big thanks to my uncle, aunt and my grandma for the concern over me/us! Their comfort and reassurance to my mom! My uncle willing to share part of my burden and i am more than happy! At least, my mom successfully underwent all the procedures and had finished her first attempt of HD, with some tolerance. Its only the stepping stone now. There are bigger challenges and hurdles ahead.

I learnt to view all these matter in a postive manner and accept the fact that she need to be dependent on HD.

Many thanks to this HO whom was once a HO in KKH. Many thanks for her concern and her professional attitude towards my mom's condition. When my mom underwent her 2nd HD, she popped by and said hello. And i read through the D/C summary and memo, thanks for her effort in compiling them together. Thank you once again!


These days, i have this selfish thoughts in me when i am working. My love one is sick in the hospital, yet i am still functioning my role as a nurse taking care for other patients except for my mom. Do you know how bad i feel within me? Its utterly bad. On the day of her admission i have to go to work, I cant possibly take any more EL thou i very much wanted to. And time to time, i have to visit her in between of my 3 shifts work and sometimes couldn't even visit her due to my tiredness but i still want to make a point to be there to see how's things for her so far.

One of my 2nd night shift, i was in a very bad mental state, i teared before i go to work, tears just welled up my face when i am on my way to work. I was kinda occupied with many stuffs. Dont even feel like working.

THE SENIOR OF THAT NIGHT PUT ME IN-CHARGE FOR 12 PATIENTS AND SHE WILLINGLY DO MY JUNIOR WORK. JUST BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO PASS OVER TO THE OTHER SENIOR WHOM SHE DIDN'T HAVE GOOD TERMS WITH. WTF? I'M HER SCAPEGOAT? I CANT BELIEVE THAT SHE'S DOING TO SUCH EXTENT. ESCAPING?

THE NIGHT WAS HELL WITH 15 MINS CYCLE PUFFS FOR FRETFUL CHILD..

EARLY MORNING I GOT DAMN HELL SCOLDINGS FROM THE SENIOR..

And i still have to make my way to the hospital to settle some important stuffs, before i head for home for a good rest. I'm exhausted both physically and mentally!

The week for me is really exhausting.

However, i have spent my wonderful weekend with my love ones!

Honey and i went to have my "KFC's crave" on friday night.

We head to town for some retail therapy, and this is the out of many times without a car and we felt so carefree and happy taking public transport. I always wanted to take train with mylove and at last, the feeling is so great, we can go anywhere we want without any restrictions and without worrying having to travel back to the carpark. British India came as a surprise and yet infuriating. Its contradicting, because i love the British India Tee so MUCH ! I didn't want him to spend that amount of money on me! And Myphosis white top came as a sweet present from mylove. We spent the whole day together and we caught a very educational and inspiring movie "An escape from Huang Shi"... It aint boring at all, i'm enjoying it.

Afterwhich, went to visit my mom with mylove. My aunt, unc, gdma were there. Had a short conversation and they're leaving. Mom is for Op that night but it dragged til 10plus before they start to give her GA.

I'm for work the next day, woke up and dragged myself to work. Really appreciate darling to wake up even earlier than me to send me to work and then back to sleep again. It aches me seeing him not getting enough sleep.

I'm really blissed to have mylove with me during my down moments. He cheered me up with all sorts of funny noise and acts and i finally laughed like a silly girl. He gave me encouraging words and stand by me. Thanks, and i needed them!

For whatever it happens, I will brave through it. There are series of hurdles to cross in the next subsequent weeks, all i can wish is to hope for the best.

I know me/us can do it.

I really admire my mom that had gone through so much, the pain and sufferings she need to bear. She isn't strong medically, but she's a strong woman in my heart. ILOVEYOUMUMMY!!